Ahhh memories... (not for the squeamish)

A casual discussion about kids a moment ago with a co-worker, happened to mention projectile vomiting. That in turn sparked the following memory that I thought was just TOO good not to share!

I was at a bachelor party being held at a private residence. The young groom was well into his cups and even standing up was a challenge for him. A stripper had been hired to entertain the group, and she was doing a pretty creditable job. She danced her way around the room making sure all the gentlemen guests got at least a little bit of her attention. It was a rough crowd of North Florida rednecks in attendance that evening.

As I recall the girl was blond and pretty, but “big boned” and quite formidable. But again – she was a good sport and kept up a steady stream of jokes and banter as she wiggled and gyrated about the room. Came then the point where she had to switch the focus of her attention to the groom exclusively.

Placing an armless chair in the center of the room, she guided the drunken young man to have a seat therein. From somewhere I know not (being buck-assed naked!) she produced a small bottle of Crown Royal Whiskey. Then she sat on the grooms lap facing him with her legs to either side (sort of a simulated sexual position). Here her intention with the bottle of whiskey became clear – and my feeling of dread began to increase.

Tilting Loverboy’s head backward she coaxed his mouth open and began to pour the straight liquor down his open throat. I’m thinking to myself “Sheeese that’s risky”. No sooner than the thought formed itself in my mind, and scarcely sooner than the booze touched Johnny’s tongue, Madam Striptease was rewarded for her efforts with a quick and powerful stream of projectile vomit – right between her breasts! It came so suddenly that she was caught with the full force of it! Naturally she dashed off (screaming) to the bathroom, and we all guffawed uproariously!

The show was of course irrevocably concluded, and one hell of a memory was formed for all who witnessed it. LOL


Brock Townsend said...


Curtis said...

About a month before I went into the Army, my friends treated me to a gallon of Gallo Red Rose. Long story short, I puked all over the cops pants... twice, in The Exorcist fashion. I'll never forget the cops partner who said, "Jesus Christ! What have you been drinking? Transmission fluid?!"

To my relief, the cop, who was the first black cop on the force in Redondo Beach and also the biggest, was a good sport through it all. They never charged me and off to the Army I went.

The things we did in our youth.

Brock Townsend said...

The things we did in our youth.

That deserves another :).